There's a reason for faith, whether it be faith in God or faith in yourself. Faith is something that is so empowering, it literally sets you free. It's the truth that there is liberation in believing.
So often, humanity falls into this rut of believing that life is so messed up that it can't be fixed. That might be true, but that sort of believing is not the same as faith. Those two words are not synonymous in all occasions.
The truth is... life is going to be the longest thing you'll do here on earth. And if you sit around and watch it pass you by, thinking that there's no point in making the most of because it's "short," when life comes to an end, you'll realize that you spent a whole lot of years doing nothing.
But believing in something greater, some higher purpose and organization... well, that's the kind of faith that can get you out of bed in the morning and let you take chances you never thought you would have ever taken. It's time for a change. It's time for some faith.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sometimes all it takes is once chance at a blank slate.
Once upon a time, there was this guy named John Locke (you may have heard of him... he did a lot of important stuff and was called the Father of Modern Empiricism, or learning through experience). Locke believed that everyone was born a blank slate, with a mind that was pliable like wax. It could be molded and shaped through observation and experience.
Sometimes I think that humans go through life thinking that they can't start over, that "I am what I am" (Popeye the Sailor would be proud), and that life is progressive but we, as players in this tragedy called "life," are completely static, never changing. We have this mindset that we can't be the best because there's always someone better. It's like we're competitive to a point, but after a while, we just think that breaking is so much easier. What we wouldn't give for that blank slate. We want freedom. We want renewed passion. We want redemption.
I don't think we should give up on our dreams and goals so quickly. Why can't I decide to have a blank slate? No one ever said that both sides of the slate were written on because the future hasn't happened yet. I am constantly passing up opportunities to take the chisel and make my own d*** slate because I tell myself that I'm not good enough, not worthy enough. But that's the kind of mindset that got me messed up in the first place.
No, I can't go back and fix what's already been carved in the stone of my story. But I can surely start from where I am now and not let the choices that I've made in the past hinder where I currently choose to head. It's my time for a blank slate. It's time to let go and move on and accept that my life is going to be my own for once in my life. It's my tabula rasa, and it's sitting right in front of me for the taking.
Sometimes I think that humans go through life thinking that they can't start over, that "I am what I am" (Popeye the Sailor would be proud), and that life is progressive but we, as players in this tragedy called "life," are completely static, never changing. We have this mindset that we can't be the best because there's always someone better. It's like we're competitive to a point, but after a while, we just think that breaking is so much easier. What we wouldn't give for that blank slate. We want freedom. We want renewed passion. We want redemption.
I don't think we should give up on our dreams and goals so quickly. Why can't I decide to have a blank slate? No one ever said that both sides of the slate were written on because the future hasn't happened yet. I am constantly passing up opportunities to take the chisel and make my own d*** slate because I tell myself that I'm not good enough, not worthy enough. But that's the kind of mindset that got me messed up in the first place.
No, I can't go back and fix what's already been carved in the stone of my story. But I can surely start from where I am now and not let the choices that I've made in the past hinder where I currently choose to head. It's my time for a blank slate. It's time to let go and move on and accept that my life is going to be my own for once in my life. It's my tabula rasa, and it's sitting right in front of me for the taking.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Let the wind in!
So this may sound a little crazy, but even though it's 39 degrees outside here today, when I got back from class, I opened the windows and turned on a fan to let the wind and cold and FRESH AIR in. Don't get me wrong, I'm cold. But it's a lovely day outside, and the fresh air is marvelous.
Many of my friends think that I'm crazy for sitting here typing with the windows open, but I have to say that it's relaxing. I've got my Zen Pandora station up again, and the fresh air is cleaning out everything but the simple, relaxing smell of nature. I wish that the weather could be this brisk and beautiful every day. I wish that I could find the willpower to clean out my life like this every day. I want to be refreshed like this as much as possible because the feeling is simply amazing. So far, I've been able to clean out three bags of trash from my room, I've packed up everything that I don't need at school to take home so that I can sort out what to keep and what to donate, and, true to my word, I haven't purchased anything this week. I'm on the right track.
Back to cleaning!
Many of my friends think that I'm crazy for sitting here typing with the windows open, but I have to say that it's relaxing. I've got my Zen Pandora station up again, and the fresh air is cleaning out everything but the simple, relaxing smell of nature. I wish that the weather could be this brisk and beautiful every day. I wish that I could find the willpower to clean out my life like this every day. I want to be refreshed like this as much as possible because the feeling is simply amazing. So far, I've been able to clean out three bags of trash from my room, I've packed up everything that I don't need at school to take home so that I can sort out what to keep and what to donate, and, true to my word, I haven't purchased anything this week. I'm on the right track.
Back to cleaning!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It's the little things.
It's the little things that drive me absolutely bonkers... but I also appreciate the little things. Let me back up.
Yesterday, I decided to go to the gym. My roomie and I try to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, although I'll admit that at 7:30am, I usually just roll over and go back to sleep. But we were able to drag ourselves out of our beds and get ready and slowly trudge over to the gym (on the other side of campus, mind you). When we got there, much to my annoyance, the baseball team was already there, lifting weights and generally screaming at each other. I quietly set the treadmill and turned on my iPod Netflix channel to "Eat Pray Love." "Eat Pray Love" is perhaps one of the most inspiring movies I have ever watched. Although it got a lot of bad reviews, the general gist of the movie is that a woman sets out to clear her life of its growing toxicity and find true balance. She does this through learning, respectively, to eat, pray, and love. I admire those who can live a simple, worry-free life, and I think that to even remotely get close to that level, we must slow down and address our lives by the "urgent" versus the "important." Are these things that I do necessary? How are my life decisions taking a toll on me?
After I finished watching the movie, I decided to start the "Zen Garden" Pandora station that I have on my iPod. It's very relaxing. However, as I began to listen to it, the team got louder and overpowered my attempt at serenity. My first thought was, "HOW DARE THEY?!" But I reigned myself in and turned up the volume and tried to refocus my mind on how my body felt as I pushed it more than I have before. But they continued to get louder, and so I gave them mean looks and wondered why they couldn't just leave. I ended up finishing my workout, angry, and just leaving and not going on any longer in my workout.
As I look back on this now, I realize that I appreciate that the team was there and that I overreacted. I appreciate that they were there because I pushed myself harder than I would have if they hadn't been there. (As a side note, I definitely have been feeling improvements-- I kicked up my workout from half at 3 mph and half at 3.5 to straight-up 3.5 followed by an additional 20 minutes at 3 mph to cool off. It may not seem like a big deal or a hard workout, but I've never exercised before, so I feel good about starting slow.) I overreacted because they were doing their workout, as is required of them. I admire that they were able to get up early, and they were yelling to make sure that they kept going, kept pushing themselves. So while I may not like working out with loud guys who intimidate me, I recognize that I was wrong in my frustrations. I need to post this because I need to remember it. I need to remember the fact that everyone is going to get on my nerves as some point or another, but I need to slow down, take a deep breath, and move on, as if nothing happened. Because ultimately, that's how we can all become better people. You get up and brush yourself off and move on so that you can reach higher places in everything you do.
So I'm cleaning out my mind, and acceptance is the first step. It's a small step, but it's also a huge step. There's always going to be a tension between how I feel and how I choose to react. But if I can react rationally in such situtations and not dwell on things that annoy me, I can be a happier, well-rounded person. I can make steps towards that. It's change, and it's wonderful (and it's scary). Practice patience-- in the end, it will make you a happier, calmer, more content person. Peace.
Yesterday, I decided to go to the gym. My roomie and I try to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, although I'll admit that at 7:30am, I usually just roll over and go back to sleep. But we were able to drag ourselves out of our beds and get ready and slowly trudge over to the gym (on the other side of campus, mind you). When we got there, much to my annoyance, the baseball team was already there, lifting weights and generally screaming at each other. I quietly set the treadmill and turned on my iPod Netflix channel to "Eat Pray Love." "Eat Pray Love" is perhaps one of the most inspiring movies I have ever watched. Although it got a lot of bad reviews, the general gist of the movie is that a woman sets out to clear her life of its growing toxicity and find true balance. She does this through learning, respectively, to eat, pray, and love. I admire those who can live a simple, worry-free life, and I think that to even remotely get close to that level, we must slow down and address our lives by the "urgent" versus the "important." Are these things that I do necessary? How are my life decisions taking a toll on me?
After I finished watching the movie, I decided to start the "Zen Garden" Pandora station that I have on my iPod. It's very relaxing. However, as I began to listen to it, the team got louder and overpowered my attempt at serenity. My first thought was, "HOW DARE THEY?!" But I reigned myself in and turned up the volume and tried to refocus my mind on how my body felt as I pushed it more than I have before. But they continued to get louder, and so I gave them mean looks and wondered why they couldn't just leave. I ended up finishing my workout, angry, and just leaving and not going on any longer in my workout.
As I look back on this now, I realize that I appreciate that the team was there and that I overreacted. I appreciate that they were there because I pushed myself harder than I would have if they hadn't been there. (As a side note, I definitely have been feeling improvements-- I kicked up my workout from half at 3 mph and half at 3.5 to straight-up 3.5 followed by an additional 20 minutes at 3 mph to cool off. It may not seem like a big deal or a hard workout, but I've never exercised before, so I feel good about starting slow.) I overreacted because they were doing their workout, as is required of them. I admire that they were able to get up early, and they were yelling to make sure that they kept going, kept pushing themselves. So while I may not like working out with loud guys who intimidate me, I recognize that I was wrong in my frustrations. I need to post this because I need to remember it. I need to remember the fact that everyone is going to get on my nerves as some point or another, but I need to slow down, take a deep breath, and move on, as if nothing happened. Because ultimately, that's how we can all become better people. You get up and brush yourself off and move on so that you can reach higher places in everything you do.
So I'm cleaning out my mind, and acceptance is the first step. It's a small step, but it's also a huge step. There's always going to be a tension between how I feel and how I choose to react. But if I can react rationally in such situtations and not dwell on things that annoy me, I can be a happier, well-rounded person. I can make steps towards that. It's change, and it's wonderful (and it's scary). Practice patience-- in the end, it will make you a happier, calmer, more content person. Peace.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I've never gotten anywhere by living in tomorrow.
It's impossible to physically live in the future. We move from one second to another, never passing ourselves in time. And yet we have lived in the past and we will live in the future. But what we do now, how we live... well, that just shapes us and our future into what we want to become.
Who says that I can't be a better me? The only person stopping me from living the life I want to lead is... me. In my theology class this week, we've been talking about the divided will. Before you run away from "religion talk," hear me out: this has less to do with Christianity than it does with who we all are as human beings. The divided will, simply put, is the constant tension between our minds and our bodies. We want to progress and move forward, and our bodies know that change needs to occur, but we're so set in our habits and ways that our minds can't grasp the concept of change. That's why we rebel. That's why we push away what's good for us and reject the concept of "betterment." We yearn for instant gratification-- I want to be super thin and healthy, but I rebel against eating healthy food and exercising. There's no way that I can sustain a change in my body if I don't make a change in my mind. And with all of the distractions that we find ourselves inundated with at any given second of the day, it's no wonder that Americans have such a struggle with obesity, depression, ADHD (all of which I profess to struggle with, by the way), and many other "symptoms" of that divided will that I mentioned before.
I'm struggling to make it through this world just like everyone else. But I no longer accept the divided will in my life. And through slow, steady, painful (yes, I said it-- painful) changes, I can truly become who I want to be, who I was meant to be. Because I was made to be the best version of myself. And yet I habitually make choices that will set me back from this goal.
Well, no longer will I be subjected to this constant flow of poor decision-making. Right here, right now, it changes.
For the next six months to a year, I am going to practice living simply-- going without where I can, keeping track of finances, changing my mindset to fit my goals (not eliminating my goals because I "aim too high"). For years, I've put everything before my health. I've avoiding thinking about all of the poor decisions I've made that have put me where I am. But the truth is, sometimes it is worse to forget about your past mistakes than it is to tuck them away and not make the same mistake again. It's painful to hold on to them and not obsess about them, for sure. But our mistakes keep us humble and teach us that, in the end, we're all human. But it is our humanity that allows us to remember, change, progress, and LIVE. So I want to live wholly and without fear, without regrets. I don't want to miss out on opportunities because I am afraid of what others will say about me. Because in the end, it's my life, not theirs, and I am the one who will have to live with whatever choices I've made.
This has been a longer post than I will probably write in the future, but it's an introduction (and an encouragement), a toast, if you will, to the person I can become. Welcome to the present. May you live in it fully everyday and may you proceed with no regrets. Namaste.
Who says that I can't be a better me? The only person stopping me from living the life I want to lead is... me. In my theology class this week, we've been talking about the divided will. Before you run away from "religion talk," hear me out: this has less to do with Christianity than it does with who we all are as human beings. The divided will, simply put, is the constant tension between our minds and our bodies. We want to progress and move forward, and our bodies know that change needs to occur, but we're so set in our habits and ways that our minds can't grasp the concept of change. That's why we rebel. That's why we push away what's good for us and reject the concept of "betterment." We yearn for instant gratification-- I want to be super thin and healthy, but I rebel against eating healthy food and exercising. There's no way that I can sustain a change in my body if I don't make a change in my mind. And with all of the distractions that we find ourselves inundated with at any given second of the day, it's no wonder that Americans have such a struggle with obesity, depression, ADHD (all of which I profess to struggle with, by the way), and many other "symptoms" of that divided will that I mentioned before.
I'm struggling to make it through this world just like everyone else. But I no longer accept the divided will in my life. And through slow, steady, painful (yes, I said it-- painful) changes, I can truly become who I want to be, who I was meant to be. Because I was made to be the best version of myself. And yet I habitually make choices that will set me back from this goal.
Well, no longer will I be subjected to this constant flow of poor decision-making. Right here, right now, it changes.
For the next six months to a year, I am going to practice living simply-- going without where I can, keeping track of finances, changing my mindset to fit my goals (not eliminating my goals because I "aim too high"). For years, I've put everything before my health. I've avoiding thinking about all of the poor decisions I've made that have put me where I am. But the truth is, sometimes it is worse to forget about your past mistakes than it is to tuck them away and not make the same mistake again. It's painful to hold on to them and not obsess about them, for sure. But our mistakes keep us humble and teach us that, in the end, we're all human. But it is our humanity that allows us to remember, change, progress, and LIVE. So I want to live wholly and without fear, without regrets. I don't want to miss out on opportunities because I am afraid of what others will say about me. Because in the end, it's my life, not theirs, and I am the one who will have to live with whatever choices I've made.
This has been a longer post than I will probably write in the future, but it's an introduction (and an encouragement), a toast, if you will, to the person I can become. Welcome to the present. May you live in it fully everyday and may you proceed with no regrets. Namaste.
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