I've never gotten anywhere by living in tomorrow.

It's impossible to physically live in the future. We move from one second to another, never passing ourselves in time. And yet we have lived in the past and we will live in the future. But what we do now, how we live... well, that just shapes us and our future into what we want to become.
Who says that I can't be a better me? The only person stopping me from living the life I want to lead is... me. In my theology class this week, we've been talking about the divided will. Before you run away from "religion talk," hear me out: this has less to do with Christianity than it does with who we all are as human beings. The divided will, simply put, is the constant tension between our minds and our bodies. We want to progress and move forward, and our bodies know that change needs to occur, but we're so set in our habits and ways that our minds can't grasp the concept of change. That's why we rebel. That's why we push away what's good for us and reject the concept of "betterment." We yearn for instant gratification-- I want to be super thin and healthy, but I rebel against eating healthy food and exercising. There's no way that I can sustain a change in my body if I don't make a change in my mind. And with all of the distractions that we find ourselves inundated with at any given second of the day, it's no wonder that Americans have such a struggle with obesity, depression, ADHD (all of which I profess to struggle with, by the way), and many other "symptoms" of that divided will that I mentioned before.
I'm struggling to make it through this world just like everyone else. But I no longer accept the divided will in my life. And through slow, steady, painful (yes, I said it-- painful) changes, I can truly become who I want to be, who I was meant to be. Because I was made to be the best version of myself. And yet I habitually make choices that will set me back from this goal.
Well, no longer will I be subjected to this constant flow of poor decision-making. Right here, right now, it changes.
For the next six months to a year, I am going to practice living simply-- going without where I can, keeping track of finances, changing my mindset to fit my goals (not eliminating my goals because I "aim too high"). For years, I've put everything before my health. I've avoiding thinking about all of the poor decisions I've made that have put me where I am. But the truth is, sometimes it is worse to forget about your past mistakes than it is to tuck them away and not make the same mistake again. It's painful to hold on to them and not obsess about them, for sure. But our mistakes keep us humble and teach us that, in the end, we're all human. But it is our humanity that allows us to remember, change, progress, and LIVE. So I want to live wholly and without fear, without regrets. I don't want to miss out on opportunities because I am afraid of what others will say about me. Because in the end, it's my life, not theirs, and I am the one who will have to live with whatever choices I've made.
This has been a longer post than I will probably write in the future, but it's an introduction (and an encouragement), a toast, if you will, to the person I can become. Welcome to the present. May you live in it fully everyday and may you proceed with no regrets. Namaste.